Broken Pieces

Pain does change people
A broken heart does change you
But it’s up to you to decide what to do with that pain

I wonder if you knew the real me
not the surface stuff but
the really deep shit that goes on in my brain
would you understand I am more like you than you know
some days I think I’m quite ugly
and I understand why no one would want to love me
I can’t fathom why anyone would think I was beautiful

I want to be able to trust you
to let you in on that world
to share those broken pieces with you
that I painfully tuck away
so no one gets too close to ever to see me cry
to see what hides behind my smile
that ugly truth that I wonder why I’m still alive
what’s the purpose of my very being
why was I put here to be hurt over and over again

the broken part of me
that wonders why anyone would find me beautiful
when I feel so lost.

*side note, submitted to poetry nation contest and to be published in Eber & Wein Best Poets of 2022 Anthology, I guess I just put it out there into the world under my own name and not my pen name, feeling a little adventurous tonight, let’s see what happens*