Pain does change people A broken heart does change you But it’s up to you to decide what to do with that pain I wonder if you knew the real me not the surface stuff but the really deep shit that goes on in my brain would you understand I am more like you than you know some days I think I’m quite ugly and I understand why no one would want to love me I can’t fathom why anyone would think I was beautiful I want to be able to trust you to let you in on that world…
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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I wanted to get high today, I’ve been clean for 18 years and today I just wanted to do a line. I wanted to forget he ever existed, I wanted to forget about everything. For the first time in a long time, I curled up in the closet with my blankets and wanted to be as small as possible, melt back into myself and the one person I wanted to comfort me is a coward and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Let me just dissect that email I got back after telling him I loved him and asking…
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know it hurts, I know this is going to be hard to having him here this week, knowing that you are emotionally cutting him out of your life. I know… You can’t let him see it, you can’t let him know… You need to get it all out of your system, cry when he’s gone, not while he’s here. Put on a smile! Keep busy! And don’t you dare let your family know anything is wrong You need to heal and grieve, as long as it takes but don’t disappear from the world this time. I know it hurts.. I…
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I thought we were friends that could endure the face of time Laughter brought us together I was selfish and wanted you for myself I fell in-love with you I thought you were the kind of person that could weather the storm of me But you are pulling away I can feel it I can see it I need you But you are gone the promise of everything broken like a shattered glass ~Aubrey