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this afternoon, I could have sworn I was listening to music, was singing the lyrics in my head then I realized there wasn’t any music playing, not on my phone, not on the computer. I haven’t talked to anyone all day except the cats and haven’t gone anywhere, so either I have completely and utterly lost my mind (auditory hallucinations) or someone is thinking about me or spirit is trying to tell me something although the ghost usually doesn’t stick songs in my head, she either just tells me or makes my electronics go wonky or squirrels seem to appear.…
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remember when we were in the kitchen trying to figure out how much CBD to use and we were laughing because neither one of us knew what to do. I wanted more of that, more of seeing you happy and laughing, making you laugh over random silly things. Or that time when you were sitting on the counter, teasing me from a distance, smiling, the thing is I wanted to hit you for whatever you said but I could see the someone was watching our interaction and I held back, wish I hadn’t. That’s what I want more of, the…
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I have to keep reminding myself that you’re never coming back into my life 🙁 . That you at some point decided that you were no longer my friend, maybe I scared you, wouldn’t be the first person to walk away from me, probably won’t be the last. I tried to grow my hair out thinking maybe you wanted a woman with long hair but you know what, I can not stand that in between stage of growing my hair out, I feel like a troll doll, so I shaved it again tonight because what the fuck is wrong with me…
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Real love takes time to root and grow, a lot like plants. I ran across a plant thing that I think you would absolutely adore because when you are nervous you talk about random plants and their latin names which I have always found incredibly adorable about you, one of the many reasons I love you. I keep thinking of whom I feel in love with and it’s most definitely not the persona that you let the world see, I fell for this man that gets nervous in situations and talks about latin plant names, has an inner vulnerably that…
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he told me not to go to law school because it would change me, I don’t know about that, could it change me worse than a broken heart and being ghosted? That’s changed me, it’s changed how I see the world, it’s changed who I trust, it’s changed how I see him. I never thought he would do that to me! I never ever would have believed that when he said he loved me that he would just silently walk out of my life without so much as a glance back, without a care about how it would affect me.…
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not so much a dream but a feeling as I was drifting off to sleep, I felt someone caressing my cheek and my back. It wasn’t the cats, they use their tiny little nails to get my attention. I didn’t have a window open and it wasn’t the heater. I had just said goodnight to him, wishing him sweet dreams (even he stopped being my friend, I never stopped being his) and then I felt this light caressing on my check and back, I turned over because kind of weird and I felt it again. Maybe she was there, maybe…
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sound energy, particularly bells, gets rid of negative energy. That’s what wind chimes are for in your garden, to create a calm space. This explains so much about all her wind chimes and bells she had around the house